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The first three years of life 5

Saturday on May 30th, 2020Life


Mentioned my family, my parents have to mention their family background and their family formation process. The background and experience, determine their own character, personality, and then they go and live in such a state. I was born in such a family, I decided my self-esteem, interpersonal relationships, emotional management, personal growth and other aspects.


My father, born in 1960 Lunar New Year in September.

1960 Lunar June, my grandparents experienced a migration. The cause of the migration, is a national starving beginning of 1959. Nothing catastrophic climate of those years, but a bad harvest. People mainly rely on our side of the oak bark inside Nenpi, oak leaves, elm bark, weeds and other steamed cake with cornmeal and live together. This cake is very rough, children, the elderly hard to swallow, so people starved to death mainly among children and the elderly. My grandfather's mother never get sick, lost a tooth or mouth when smoking a cigarette is not out of the bag to open the window, but died of hunger in 1960. My grandfather's table uncle, also starved to death.

County in Shandong's worse than we are here, even the oak bark did not have to eat. At that time sight, these experienced old people are still fresh. The local government, in order to reduce the number of unnatural deaths due to hunger caused by migrating to let people sign up relatively better situation in the Northeast. My grandparents in the 1959 Annual Report of the name.

In 1960, our commune secretary, received their counterparts in person at the county, policy advocacy, to pacify the people. Lunar June, all the commune secretaries to the area to lead these people, twice a train ride, we arrived here by their secretary away. My grandparents, so we came here.

At that time, grandparents already had a son, born in 1953. And Grandma pregnant. Three months later, their second son was born in one of only a thatched room. This is my father.


My grandparents a family, very simple.

My grandfather home, there are three brothers, ranked second child grandfather. Home penniless, in order to feed their families, the grandfather has sung in opera stage, the family had sold tofu bean curd workshop open. Grandpa's house in order by selling bean curd to upgrade to the highest income, the family almost did not how to eat tofu their own home, are out to sell. There was no money to buy shoes, no money to buy raw materials to make shoes, rain or shine, selling bean curd grandfather were both barefoot outside.

20 years old grandfather, grandfather's father was dying, death may be soon. According to local legend, this time at home if you have big happy event occurs, then these catastrophic events will be washed away, the grandfather of the father may not be so quick to leave this world. So, my grandfather married younger than his 5-year-old grandmother door. However, the father or grandfather soon died.


My grandparents of four children, had the same teacher during the school - Cao teacher. Cao teacher who married 50 years ago, our village Wang family, and later in primary school in our village (about 2001 collapse) as a teacher. Later, I became my sister's house the old lady.

Cao teacher once said: "You four home, no less read the book, but not a top one breath, not out of the mouth of the character and the thump thump of the word no.." Mr. Cao said that the Northeast dialect, translated into Mandarin dialect words express the meaning is: I am their father, four brothers, and the mouth is very strict on the outside, just no idea about anything, with no idea of ??their own, can not do anything.

Why would they do this? This is my grandfather out of the discipline. Because my grandfather is such a person.

My grandfather, only to discipline his family, including grandmother and four children with verbal and physical violence. For their families what words are put out, if my grandmother and four children do not follow his ideas, Grandpa would freak. What Grandpa thought, how other people want to do, he did not say. However, if the family did not do what he did not say it's the idea, grandfather would use violence against them, verbal and physical.

Domineering grandfather in their own homes, when something happens on the outside, but could not valuable, then, nothing seems to make a decision. And he also asked his children that way.

In this way, their four children are guided became the character.


Grandma was young, of course, want their children to be able to test out. Although the year is impossible and go to college, even graduate from high school to college also need to test the (very few of the top students can be admitted to college in junior high school, the county generally have about 1-2 people each year), and unlike the junior high school graduates do not test now will be able to read.

In the past, that we have a nursing home, less than 1 km away from our village. The nursing home where shelter bring him pension for the elderly, the homeless elderly, and orphans. Among elderly nursing home inside, there is a blind, will be telling. Grandma took the initiative to find his fortune. The blind man said: that you four children, the whole family can test it out, others do not test out. As each mother, naturally not going to believe this nonsense, train their children as much as possible, so that they can test out.

My my (uncle), read nine books. Down to work. My father read high school, I did not test out.

My aunt, who learn well. Secondary test, the difference in the first 1 min; continued in a second test, the difference between 2 points. Aunt like mad, walk around, and finally settles down to accept this reality.

Except my uncle, graduated from high school in 1982, he was admitted to a secondary school, studied at the provincial school food. That year, the school has a grain of Posts and Telecommunications and the school can choose. At the time, men graduated from the school of Posts and Telecommunications, is riding a green bicycle twenty-eight, each place to commune under the messenger. Uncle so choose the food school. In 1984, he was assigned to the uncle here granary neighboring commune, and later transferred to the granary of our commune. At that time, state advocates "prepare against natural disasters", grain storage requires every household must sell a certain percentage of grain to grain storage.

The end of 1990, issued by the Prime Minister "to reduce the price of grain farmers, social stability - set - !!" policy. Now people talk about him, he will lift up his anti-corruption, but no lift "to reduce farmers' food prices and social stability," these things, there has been selective blindness. At that time, subject to the policy implications of food price crash, regardless of whether the food to the grain, farmers lose everything. It was also set up card to intercept private transportation vehicles everywhere, even to think of ways to get food to the field can not sell transportation, will be intercepted on the road. So, people inadvertently harvesting food, let cattle and sheep grazing in the fields. Subsequently abandonment of land, there is little skill who work outside the home. In recent years, grain-free food can collect.

After this step down, slowly restore order agriculture, grain storage grain collection were normal. When I was little, to receive food grain storage when Mailiang long queue of vehicles more than a kilometer. Uncle took the grain inspection equipment, test catch food grain storage in the front door. End of each year, grain given to the welfare of employees is very heavy, two people sharing a pig, there are a lot of fish, chicken and so on. After the arrival of spring every year, hanging in my grandparents' home outside of sickle fish did not finish.

When the uncle was assigned to our neighboring commune of grain storage, grain storage old aunt's father in which to work, and thus know the old aunt. Old aunt was already at an object, but her father did not agree, because my uncle middle school, high school graduation to enter the depot at that time can become the granary director, then think certainly after his uncle when the granary director, so it is popular to drink hot. Old aunt was required to marry my uncle.

As a result, until the country closed granary, uncle laid off, when did the granary director. Former director retired after one term grain storage, grain storage became a director uncle low educational level than women. Later, the influx of laid-off state-owned enterprises in those years, the state closed a large number of grain storage, grain storage laid off from his uncle. Then to the small private grain storage work, but these small grain low income, each time not long grain storage business, closed down one after another.

Old aunt has two younger sisters, not male, not the natural descendants. A few years ago, the old aunt's parents came to the uncle's house pension. Old aunt's father said to my uncle: "When I Man (old aunt's name) to you is to see your culture, you can count on when the granary director How about you, but without a word, can not do any.? thing, even if you Shunzui Hu Lie Lie two line ah, how it is on the outside without a word of it! "


Although my father and aunt did not go to college, but that's high school graduates who could have taken a decent job, even though the unit had graduated from high school who resides in the collapse of all the closures of the 1990s, but at least the year still fared good.

However, that have occurred in the others, who did not occur in members of their own home.

My grandfather, he not only control four children, he inherited this very bad character, but also to control my grandmother. There is a saying "three women in a drama," women like to go to the street level and woman someone's home to chat, talk about some parents fairly short, my grandmother certainly no exception. But Grandpa was not allowed to do so grandma, grandmother has become the kind of person to let out a word no. Every time my grandmother went to a neighbor or nearby along well with her small daughter who is home, Grandpa will be followed to find (commonly known as "thrust feet"), let her go home. After Grandpa died, Grandma was invited to their homes, said the grandmother must go, there is no thrust of the foot.

Grandparents discipline their children, but also to the formation of their children at home ramble character.

Grandparents discipline them by way of four children, four children passed a bad character. These personality, affecting their lives. Not only it affects their ability to interaction with others, attitudes, thereby affecting the future; also affected the way they treat their own children. Why is there such impact? This is from my father my way to see the discipline. Before about this problem, I need to mention and some other background is highly correlated with my family.

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