I came to this world in 28 years
Over the years, I have experienced the ups and downs of life many times. Forward direction in life, has long been a far cry from the old ideal. The crowd at the same time, I never stopped looking for their own direction in life. During this period, along with the suffering, sweat and tears, their homes, wandering around, marching all the way to the ups and downs, overcoming all obstacles, but at this juncture 28 years of life, yet live the life you want, even though he was just a thought on the matter ordinary, but extraordinary spiritual life, not just alive.
28 years ago, I felt more and more, we live in this world, although everyone is born with the body of their parents, but is born, everyone has been divided into a hierarchy. A child, who is still around and they have a lot in common, increasing with age, meet more people, then me and now people around the same age has a big gap. I lived not understand them, even mocking their lives because of family background, childhood experiences, as well as different growth trajectory, we are all in their own way to live, and they used their outlook on life, values ??and lifestyles time to look at my life, but often stripped or ignore the relationship between my life and the external environment.
28 years, I felt more and more, life-changing, not only need their own efforts. Efforts do not necessarily have the desired result, but do not work hard must not get results. So, I have never given up the pursuit of their goals, although the results again and again disappoint ourselves, so care about my people down, but after all I tried. Everyone is in a different life track direction for each person has their background and environment deeply affected, so each person's way of life is not to be emulated, only in his own mind to go, but for me , the result does not come under the control of their own.
28 years, I've eaten bitter, had been sin, trained hard, not what they want. Suffering is not a good job, everybody wants to live well, who do not want to suffer. However, I know that, in this universe, all sentient beings to survive, circulation, are determined by karma. In many cases, the wind industry turmoil Let Bono involuntarily, but around this bitter. What may be a part of my experience compared to some people's experience is not, but some people have not experienced all that I have. After the ordeal, leaving the life and thinking of the results, let me revisit this world again and again, again and again reposition the value and status of his life.
28 years, when the world has a lot of knowledge on their own, and tried to verify them, I suddenly found myself understanding even preached to mankind as 2500 years ago, there is a wise man. It makes me very touched. A portion of the entire world origin appearing, I can escape to be seen a little Bono. However, I still have to continue to live in this earthly mundane world, therefore, the origin of this phase of the world, the right to use their own personality, the right attitude to deconstruction, handling and response, since to make themselves more relaxed, more easy-going to face future life.
Now, after half a lifetime I'm still able to live a better life, while allowing parents, family actually live a stable life, and struggling. Backing down the mountain, near the river dry river, by Ice cold. Nothing to rely on, no retreat, no direction, drift in the rush of life, I asked myself again and again, what kind of life you want. Today, around the face peers questioned and ridiculed, is now faced with their peers around the brainwashing and preaching, I still maintained his pace, still stuck to their goals, still exploring the direction in life alone. Saying the lyrics that good: "would rather limping station, do not want to smile kneel." The lives of others is always someone else, your life can not be explained to them. I have tried to explain, but I found that for many people, explain futile, because they have not experienced similar suffering, do not have enough ability and wisdom. I need to do is to continue to stick to their beliefs, ideals and hopes.
28 years, we have been looking forward to the birthday, but now I have fear birthday. Although these 28 years, I have never been to their birthday, but after all young once, looking forward to a birthday, looking forward to growing up. And now, I have entered middle age, every birthday, we know they changed again a year older. Many years ago, my peers and around you is self-deprecating, and we are too tender than 80, and more than 90 too old. Now, when I asked after a lot of 98, 99 or even 00 after a one-year course after; when I valid ID card from 10 years to become 20 years later; when I arranged to resist the suffering of fate, they found struggling after the powerless; ...... I realized that I have is about to enter the thirties, I have started getting old, so I began to fear birthday, because each had a birthday, and that they turn a year older.
This life of 28 years, like "ah" sound came over. Their future life will be like "ah" is heard in the past. Experienced a lot of things in the future, the more I feel that life for decades or centuries, in fact, not long, in the long river of time, just like a call between a smoke, short and impermanence. Because our time is not particularly cherish and retain and slow or halt the contrary, time is the most ruthless judge, we the ordinary person can not escape the judgment of time. Thus, although in the future there will be another life for decades, but I will not put the future of all life on the pursuit of fame and money, I need to use my precious life to create eternal life, since he Lili, no escape pain-ending cycle of life and death.
Finally, I hope, the next day, be able to live better than before, success, and soothe myself riddled Fengyun heart. In the past, every time I pray for this, then I would not, but this year I still promise this desire. I would like to experience the suffering that you do not experience, I would like to have happiness within your reach. Although they have been beaten black and blue, but we have no regrets in love with the world.
To a Koushou years, if he did not look back.
January 14, 2018
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