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Memories of life after his mother's illness

Friday on March 20th, 2020Life

On the eve of the festival Year of the Snake, the mother is gone, go to a place where there is no pain no worldly troubles.

From 2005 mother found herself strength decreases, some walking instability began, to March 29, 2013 (lunar calendar February 18) died, had been tortured by the disease for nearly eight years. And these eight years, I was living a life of discipline, to make money through college for four years, also returned to their parents monthly living expenses for their lives after graduation and decided to return home in safety being the county seat, to buy debt house, got married, and low-income struggling for two years to stabilize the work. Today, life is getting better and better, the mother now no way to enjoy a better life go first. A friend told me about Japanese literature, film "one liter of tears" in the actress and the mother is the same disease will become increasingly serious, I knew sooner or later that day, but this day there are some abrupt and helpless.

Mother's illness is cerebellar atrophy, check Provincial People's Hospital is clear from that day on, I passed four query data and advice, no way to find the root of the cause of the disease, there is no way the use of modern medical technology to cure, the only way is to do the following three things: attitude, exercise, nutrition, self-care in order to maintain the basic state. However, the idea was simple mother a lot, because there is no culture has no hobbies, live quietly at home every day, and gradually lost confidence, declining to exercise until after exacerbations can not act. I give training methods, programs, and his father is not strictly required, in addition to cooking outside did not have oversight of the mother, or help drive the recovery of the exercise.

Still clearly remember in 2006 I read in Guiyang, the mother has long been resigned to help "Teahouse" cooking work, also came to Guiyang live together. Found strange to walk, she was looking at the county hospital did not check the problem and found a clinic to buy back a lot of calcium to eat, did not play any role. I do not know what disease, a preliminary judge for joint problems on the legs and feet, also went to the orthopedic hospital, but also failed to get results, there is no way to judge. To Medical College Hospital, because of me while they studied to find the class, along with his mother and fiancee, he was also "Yituo" a fool "Miao medicine hospital" spent nearly a thousand dollars to buy a few packs of drugs hastily. Finally, go directly to the Provincial People's Hospital, registered medical doctors face consultation, making nuclear magnetic resonance, and so when the film and get a medical certificate, the above clearly says "mild cerebellar atrophy," the doctor did not require hospitalization, and no prescription, just let the multi-strengthening exercises. Iknow it already, this disease can not rely on anything, and can only rely on the patient himself.

After the diagnosis came back, I will continue to search, and message consulting patients and experts. Have no other ideas, the only way is to make the mother happy life, and exercise, in order to get her psychological comfort, fiancee also find a friend to open a lot like "Naodesheng" and other brain medicine, eat it or infusion . No matter how do I know a few years, the result of ten years after.

During the day she Guiyang Qianling mountain back to back water to drink, although some forward unsteady walk, but life can take care of themselves, but also I asked to stand on one leg at home to practice every day, walk a straight line, the high leg lift, squat . Weekend with his mother and I went to some periphery such as Guiyang Jiaxiu Lou, Qingyan and other attractions, though afraid to walk the high places, but the overall mood is still very good.

2007 Spring Festival, the father also came to Guiyang, the whole family in Guiyang after the Spring Festival.

But the mother character somewhat eccentric, sometimes a little self-esteem, no stopping place in the provincial capital of gossip or acquaintances, and later want to return to town life, I understand her thoughts again and confirm, finally meet her wishes . Before his father has been living on tea plantation dam, mother's illness became clear, in the 2007 National Day, I will be back to the mother from Guiyang county, the county and in turn received a father living with her mother from the dilapidated dam tea plantation, special care of his mother, and provides a daily exercise program, three small rooms of a house is rented houses East Gate Yakou.

Then take advantage of the National Day holiday I walked trip Chongqing and Sichuan, saw what had never met grandparents discrete distant relative, then back to Guiyang. Two months later, the New Year holiday, I returned to the county when his mother had helped his father needed a walk to four, and each father will have exercise equipment mother led to the pedestrian street of town on their own to go around, so that a person using the equipment mother activities hands and feet. I have been standing on one leg requirements, go straight, high leg lift, squat and other projects are not strictly enforced, on the loose once steps a day in the afternoon, the other basically not much exercise. While the strengthening exercises will not know the condition gradually worsened, but also helpless.

2008 to buy a house, marry me physically and mentally exhausted. About return back home is not something I struggle for a long time, but to the mother for the whole family, and to stabilize, I decided to return to positive security settlement. In August, when the East Gate Yakou the landlord does not rent an apartment, and was said to have been rented out to someone else ready to pay a deposit, which made my family and I have felt sad homeless. June, with the support of the quasi-father, I paid a suite in a newly built community of down-payments county, but the decoration will take time, for parents without preparation of a single room to rent houses, ready to move in. This in turn houses since the intermediate backing behind the stairwell, which no windows, door open only a little light penetration into the inside, there is room next to the soot burning stove floated into the flavor. Looked at the room, looking sick mother, and my heart aches, finally broke out, strongly disagreed moved into this house. Mother looked at me, and very helpless, the house has already begun in the decoration, but it needs more than a month's time, to re-lease suites and the need to pay a year's rent in order to save money they do not Guannameduo. But while the landlord is urging move, I once again discuss with the landlord did not succeed, the other side is not completely renovated house, and not to live in temporary houses.

Prospective parents-in support, much in the rental items are moved into the renovated rooms, with mother and father came to the car Xiaoya rural workers and peasants prospective wife's parents home. In the countryside, ravines, narrow road is not flat, there is no appropriate place to exercise, just walk in Yuanba. I Guiyang and being safe both coming and going, do not know the mother's workout situation. Lived here for more than a month, new home just completed renovation, no other decoration smell distribute complete, parents do not want to have to stay in the country, do not listen to persuasion, went straight back to the requirements of the county, and went to live there. For this reason, although my heart simmering gas but also very helpless.

After the move into new houses, the mother of exercise less. With cell wandering the land, and exercise equipment, housing and disease because of the election of the second floor of the mother, but a mortar becomes less time together. Every time his father took her arm, head turned to one side leaning Jizou, find a place to sit and rest, surrounded by many places because the toilet is not convenient, not convenient for the rest from the original are not getting to go go.

In 2008, the mother can move around at home, leaning on the wall, look at the activities on their own, but the hand has been shaking things can not end level. Later, in the toilet when the toilet up, did not hold the wall fell, I was still in Guiyang. Father once panic up call very excited, I asked the hospital to check, but he did not care who refused to help, saying "it can not find," For this reason I threw the phone but do nothing. The next day, I found a cousin and fiancee's brother to see the situation at home, talking about just throwing green Other no big problem, you can also stand up leaning on their own, so I was relieved. A month later, I went back to see his mother sitting on the Zhengan plastic deck chairs no way up, do not want to say anything, I just thought best.

After the house renovation completed, the wedding is also scheduled in December 2008. Since studies in Guiyang has not been completed, and he is no economic basis, and has become a veritable house slaves, the monthly mortgage payments have also, you also need to bear their own costs in Guiyang and parents living in Ann's positive. Invisible pressure becomes great. But for the mother, for the family I decided to go according to the procedure, after all, planned for the year is 28-year-old to get married. My fiancee and one week in advance aligning marrying Ann, refrigerator, LCD TV no, or few years ago, Radio and Television Bureau to the tea plantation workers of a CRT21 inch color TV marriage. Wedding day, the students also came to join in Guiyang, Chongqing hot pot at the north gate of the old city put more than twenty tables, sitting in the living room not help the mother, father bewildered know what to do, although there are plans, but I was lost in a fog finally completed a major event in life.

Father can not help not surprised, he and his mother are very introverted, I was originally, but in 2005 after studying in Guiyang gradually changed a lot.

Instant is 2009, studies completed, through the efforts to get a full-time undergraduate computer science diploma and degree certificates. In recent years more self-knowledge is especially practical operational aspects of the program, and many other aspects of the site, but also to learn something to better develop themselves. But her mother's illness, the father of the helpless, since the reform and opening up as the first generation of one-child families, but parents have to buy a house in town, I was very helpless, had to choose to return home. Since going back to town, I took into account the two points, one can use their influence to do the site to do something, and second, you can find a company, organization and work part-time to do things online.

May 2009, I will rent a room in Guiyang drained away, and will be able to move all of the positive things return safe county by logistics companies. I do do things in a company Zunyi city's old school. In June, at a friend's recommendation, I went to the county a unit trial, the salary is only 600 yuan. At this point, his wife also work in Guiyang to Zunyi city, but I can not feed their families, had to find ways to eke out.

My mother bought online on crutches, trying to get her confidence back exercise walking, but pestle crutches can barely move in their own living room, but also a move to shake. Due to gradually loss of balance and coordination, can not adjust the attitude, more and more afraid activities without activity will make the disease has been increasing. Later, the normal sounds has been unable to communicate only through the efforts hum simple words.

In 2010, his own mother would not stand slowly, his father rarely helped out of the house. Add a small daughter at home, I was busy.

In 2011, I bought a wheelchair from the Internet, mother father back down the stairs, wheelchair launched stroll a few times, and later as sit instability, could not help can not go out. And the mother can only sit at home, my head stretched straight, Guizhou TV at night to see people concerned about the channel, I guess we do not know can not see, can only listen.

In 2012, only manually feed each meal, and eat a bowl of soup, no way, it is easy to choke mother looked very thin. Every half an hour sitting on the couch and called Ge, was about to let himself shake the comfortable sitting slowly twisted to one side, a wheelchair can not go out. Since the long-term can not sit on the sofa, his father later only eat when fed back to the sofa, let the rest of the time in bed sleeping mother myself, and I know also can not sleep in the bed of their own stand.

After the 2013 Chinese New Year, the mother usually do not like to say, now only issue very small voice, not listen to what has been said, but little daughter sitting on the sofa watching the play, always trying to smile. I know that the mother has been unable to return to the original state of life, not a loss helpless look on as mothers. Go to work every day, to work, to dinner at his mother-consuming sitting next to his father scolded fed resentment side, would like to say a few words but do not know what to say. Whatever the talk, his father would unreasonable fierce, after his mother scolded outlet, I can only say nothing.

So day after day, I know there will always be that day until 5:03 afternoon of May 29 received a call from his father shaking the phone. Friday, soon after work, ready to take a break after the weekend I received a phone call about the people on the wood, and rush back home. Serene mother lying in bed, no emotion, like sleep, like, shake hands have usually been no more. Mind all the past memories of the sudden turns that appears, especially their own thing missing 96 years and 97 years in hospital A mother reading to borrow money strenuous effort, and my heart what about the pain, but I think my mother is doing his best for the family, so trying to calm herself down, and then arrange the funeral with his wife, and his father was and when I got married, like, still dazed standing in the living do not know what to do, do not help anything.

In the county funeral home to make arrangements for the funeral two days, March 31 and the morning of my relatives and friends to send his mother final journey together, after cremation coffin, buried in the days of Round Hill Cemetery.

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